Tuesday, November 6, 2012


Sorry for the long video (feel free to stop it around 3:10) but it really is a great jumping-off point for my topic.

If you go into any Wal-Mart, any Target, any K-Mart, any Sam's Club, and most malls that I know of, you'll find huge aisles full of bottled vitamins. People make big claims about vitamins and health supplements. Omega 3 fish oils will apparently make sure you never get cancer, and vitamin A will give you night vision! Who knew?! Vitamin C ensures that you never get sick and Vitamin D (when taken in conjunction with calcium, of course) will give you bones as strong as iron.

Do you see where I'm going with this? It's not as blatantly obvious as Lucy's "Are you unpopular? Vitameatavegamin!" but it gets us. Why do we hope vitamins and health supplements will take away all our concerns? There are diet pills to make us thinner; laxatives to make us regular (a regular colon is a happy colon); pills to give us energy so we're not 'pooped out at parties'; miracle pills that will do whatever we want them to do... or, rather, miracle pills that will make us do exactly what the manufacturer wants us to do.

I'm not saying vitamins are bad for you - far from it. But seriously? I take vitamins, too, little gummy vitamin C + other things. I usually take one in the morning if I feel like I'm getting sniffly, as sort of an immune booster, which is fine. The given dose is two a day, which will give me 210% of my daily vitamin C, 50% of my vitamin D, and 20% of my zinc. That's a lot! Your body can't even store vitamin C - why do you need 210% a day?! Foods you eat normally have vitamins in them; natural things like fruit and veggies have lots of vitamins because God made them that way, and processed foods are generally fortified with something or other nowadays. Fruits are a lot less expensive than vitamins, generally, too, even if they don't last as long on a shelf. The result? We pack our bodies with nutrition without bothering to figure out if it's actually nutritious.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, except that clearly someone, somewhere, launched an extremely successful campaign which capitalized on people's hope to such an extent that very little advertising is needed, now. It works. People buy bottled everything and don't realize how much money they're wasting in an attempt to force their body (which is not equipped to store most of the vitamins and minerals we give it) into being healthy. To the best of my knowledge, no one has tried to go as far as making Vitameatavegamin (which sounds very much like something which can eliminate the need to eat actual food, it's that good for you) but that doesn't matter when there are hundreds of products in any supermarket that promise to do the same thing!

So remember, friends - thanks to Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health!

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